Defining your values
Almost everything you do is steered by your values—they're the core components of your personal operating system, driving your decisions. They're far from being just fluff. So, this is why diving into what underpins your behavior is crucial for a deeper understanding of yourself and how you tick.
Ever found yourself agonizing over decisions or feeling pressured into choices that feel off? Identifying your values can help you move through that confusion untouched, reducing stress and uncertainty with a solid benchmark for comparison.
In essence, clarity in your values brings clarity in life choices, enriches your relationships, and sharpens your life's purpose and direction. If you are new to this values discussion or looking for a refresher, you can use the simple steps below to explore and define what drives you.
1) What makes you tick?
First up, focus on what's important to you. Forget the fancy talk; "values" are basically the big-ticket items in your world. What gets you out of bed in the morning? Jot down everything that pops into your head. Think: family, adventure, pizza, whatever floats your boat. It's all about what's real for you, not what looks good on paper. For this, aim for 10-20 items. I’m not going to lie… I think I might add pizza to my list.
2) The big three (or four)
Got your list? Good. Now, I know you're eyeing it and thinking, "But they're all so important to me!" I hear you, but let's try to play favorites. Pick your top three. Or two. Or four. The magic number isn't what we're after here; it's about honing in on what really gets your heart singing. Again, pizza is pretty great…
3) Leaderboard Time
With your VIP values in hand, it's time to see which ones get the top spot on your podium. Don't sweat it if they all seem to deserve the gold medal. This is more about understanding their weight in your world.
4) Go deeper
Alrighty, you've picked your winners. Now, let's get personal. Define each value in your own words. Dictionary definitions won't do them justice. For instance, "freedom" to me is all about winging it anywhere, anytime. But for a friend of mine, it's about calling the shots without someone breathing down their neck. Same word, worlds apart.
5) Walk the Talk
This is where the rubber meets the road. If your values are the real deal, they'll start to color everything you do. You’ll finally have that GPS to help navigate life's twists and turns.
For example:
If "fairness" is your jam, it'll push you to be the one who dishes out the tough love because, well, it's fair.
Rolling with "optimism"? Then, every hiccup is just a stepping stone, and every no just gets you closer to a yes.
And if "family" tops your list, it'll guide decisions from job offers to weekend plans because those folks are your anchor.
6) Practice Makes Perfect
If connecting the dots between daily life and your top values feels like a stretch, start small. Got a gripe or something not lining up? Peel back the layers to see which value isn't getting its due. Buzzing with happiness? Figure out which value's behind the wheel.
7) The Long Game
Values aren't set in stone. They evolve just like you do. So, keep checking in with yourself. For me, I do this at the start of every year. What rocked your world one year might take a backseat the next. And that's okay. The goal is to stay true to whatever keeps your inner fire burning and your mind at peace.
Just please remember, this isn't about overnight enlightenment. It's a really an exploration, one that's uniquely yours. So take your time, be absolutely brutally honest, and let those values light your way. When you're ready to stand by them, come hell or high water, you'll know you've hit the jackpot.
